Look Me Over
by Eevee
Summary: Rika doesn't wear pretty dresses - and Jeri wants to know why [light shoujo-ai]


Because of all those stories that makes Rika grow up enough to actually realize that there's not something wrong with wearing pretty clothes. They tend to drive me utterly insane, particularly because this also happens because she is in love with Ryo or Takato. Please, people, she's not _that_ cool.

And, heh, because of the cover of that "Girl's festival" CD. If THAT isn't evidence that Jeri got her whipped, _nothing_ is.

-------------

"It… I guess it is okay." Rika said after glancing at dress that had been pushed into her hands, trying to hand the blue garment back to her friend. But it appeared that Jeri hadn't just taken her to the mall just to _look_ at the clothes in there; she waved a hand at her in an imperious gesture.  
"What are you waiting for? Try it on!"  
"What?!"

Jeri made no reply, but finally took the dress from Rika. But instead of hanging it back on the rack, she pushed it up against the other girl's body. She snuck a hand around her waist and turned the stunned girl towards the mirror behind them, keeping the dress from falling with her hands on her shoulders.

"It looks great on you, see?" Her eyes met Rika's in the mirror.

"It's a _dress_!" She turned to look at the other girl even though she knew that Jeri wasn't joking about this. The smile sent her way was not very assuring. Jeri stepped back and shoved the dress into her arms once again.

"I know that. That's why we're here. You need to get one!"

"Jeri, I don't wear dresses!" it came out more than a little panicked, as Jeri already had seized her shoulders and started pushing her towards the changing closet.

"That's just silly, of course you do." The other girl said, flinging the curtains aside and lifting her puppet. "All girls wear dresses!" She nodded in agreement, and turned back to Rika, voice normal again. "Now go in there and try it on!"

"What? No, Jeri, I…" and the curtains rustled once again as Jeri pulled them back, leaving her friend standing in the small closet, staring at the mirror in front of her with something that easily could have been mistaken for fear. After turning around a couple of times and seeing Jeri's shoes still present under the curtains, she held the dress up in front of her and regarded it with an expression of utter disgust. Finally, she sighed loudly and slipped it over her head without bothering to take off her pants. She stared miserably into the mirror, tugging at one sleeve to get it over that of her T-shirt. Giving the misfit girl in the mirror one last pitiful glance, she stepped out.

Jeri turned around from whatever it had been she had entertained herself with, and smiled brightly at her. "See? It _does_ look nice on you!"

But Rika made no reply, and Jeri set her hands to her hips to scowl at her. "Don't give me that. Wearing a dress has never hurt anybody."

"You weren't there the last time I did." Rika said acidly, the memories of the frilly dress and all the cameras still fresh in mind.

"Oh, it can't have killed you." Jeri said and again took a firm hold of her shoulders to turn her so she faced the mirror. "See? You look pretty!"

But that was something Rika often was told, and she still didn't particularly believe it. Pulling at the skirt and letting it drop, she tore out of Jeri's grasp and headed for the changing room again.

"I don't _want_ to look pretty."

-------------

"No."  
"But look at it! Isn't it _cute_?"  
"It's _pink_."  
"There's nothing wrong with pink." Two firm gazes met, and Rika at last looked away, although her arms remained crossed.  
"I'm not wearing a pink dress, Jeri. I might give the other ones a try, but _not_ a pink one."  
Jeri was looking exasperated when she looked back up, but the dress was back where it had been found.

"What about this one?"  
"It has a Hello Kitty on the chest."  
"No?"  
"NO."  
"What about..." she didn't have the chance to finish as Rika's cell phone rang just as she reached out for something in a particularly disgusting tint of red. It was with an odd mix of relief and regret Rika had to tell her friend that she had to go home for dinner.

-------------

"Rika?"  
"What?"  
"Why won't you wear dresses?"  
The question was surprising, but looking at Jeri's curious face, she realized that she probably should have expected something like that sooner or later. But without the headache-inducing techno of the fancy clothing shop she couldn't remember the name off, and with anything resembling tacky clothes in sight, answering that question was suddenly much harder than simply saying that girly clothes sucked.

Oh, she did remember the day she had promised herself never to wear anything that made her look like a stupid bimbo, and she knew that if any of her many vows of what to never let anyone see her do, wearing a dress was on the very top, after buying a CD with sappy ballads and using makeup. The dreaded photo shoot hadn't helped at all. Ignoring how the dress had been pink, itchy and full of lace, (and that the hat had been the stupidest thing ever), the entire episode had been a bad blow to her pride. The fact that she had let her mother talk her into going at all was even more degrading.  
But maybe her mother did have quite a bit to do with it. Rika couldn't remember exactly what it had been, but she did recall that she once had been angry with her her mother for… no, that was gone. But it had been something, and she had decided never to be like her mother wanted her to. So she had, one hundred percent conscious about what she was doing, started to ignore everything that had anything to do with 'looking nice'. She wore her jeans until they were too short and deliberately ignored the new ones her mother got her when the old ones started fading. She didn't grow her hair long, but let her grandmother take her to get it cut without discussing it with her mother. She didn't even look at the nice clothes her mother bought, and coldly ignored any sort of advice about what to wear.

And somewhere in all that, she had stopped _caring_ and it had become a routine. And that had lasted all through her childhood and early teenage years. Oh, things were different now, and she and her mother did get along a thousand times better than they used to. But the prospect of doing anything to look sweet and pretty was still connected to an unreasonable fear that had become a part of Rika's very core; and it was too easily ignored for her to bother to get rid off.

Maybe it was like an old survival instinct. Rika needed to be in control, if nothing else than at least over herself. For the first time, Rika realized that she had won her independence by that childish revolt against her mother – and that she was afraid to loose it if she gave in now. It was all very simple: Despite all excuses about pants being more comfortable and dresses being girly, it all came down to that she was afraid of showing weakness.

"I think it was to spite my mother."

"Your _mum_? You won't wear dresses because of your _mum?_" Any ideas of telling Jeri the whole story were violently shoved away, and she glared at the laughing girl.  
"It's not funny!"  
Jeri stopped giggling, but still smiled. "Really? Don't you think it's funny that you did all that just because of your mum?"

"Well…" the way her voice trailed away seemed to catch Jeri's attention, and she smiled slightly at her. "It's a long story."

Jeri nodded, and plucked a flower that somehow had managed to force its way through the asphalt. She tried to put it in her hair, but without any windows to help her see what she was doing, it fell out almost immediately. Rika picked up again and placed it where Jeri had failed to, meeting the other girl's grateful smile with one of her own.

"If that really _is_ the reason you won't dress nicely, I guess it _is_ long."

"Mm." She agreed, relieved that it was Jeri and not Ryo or anybody else who heard this. The chance of her telling this to any of the male Tamers was microscopic, of course, but the mere thought off what their reaction would be was unpleasant. This was something even Henry would have laughed at her for, and Henry was just that sort of person who _didn't_ laugh at others.

They walked together in silence, only saying their goodbyes as they passed by Rika's home.

-------------

Jeri came to visit her the next day, carrying a bag in one hand and Calumon on the head. She had run into the Digimon on her way there, and he had wanted to come with her. Rika's grandmother had once given her a book about wild animals, and Calumon absolutely loved it. He didn't waste any time jumping over to the bookshelf, and Rika didn't actually take much notice about what he did. Jeri's face had taken an eager look that usually meant trouble, and it was hard to pay much attention to anything else.

"Look! It was on sale!"  
And Rika found her arms full of blue denim.  
"What?"  
"The dress! Isn't it nice? And I got it real cheap, too!" Jeri dragged her up from where she had been sitting on the floor and shoved her out of the room and into the bathroom, once again taking the stance behind her as she held the dress up in front of Rika. "I thought you'd like this one. It's almost like jeans, only it's a dress!"

Rika failed to see the logic in that, but didn't point it out as Jeri's enthusiastic hands had started tugging on her clothes, and she realized that if she didn't undress, her friend would do it for her. Off her pants went, and the dress was dumped into her arms as Jeri rambled on about how great it was and how Rika would love it. And for what seemed like the hundred time during the past two days, she was turned around against her will to face her mother's large mirror hanging above the sink.  
"See? I _told_ you it was great!"  
Staring at the mirror image of herself, she had to admit that it was far from as bad as it _could_ have been. It was very plain, reaching just past her knees and fastened over her shoulders with two straps.

"It _is_ nice!" Jeri insisted, brushing nonexistent dirt away from it.  
"Yeah." Rika agreed with a barely noticeable smile, "It's better than any of the others."  
"See? I told you all girls look nice in dresses! And now... what are you doing?"  
Rika looked up from undoing the buttons on the side.

"I'm changing back?" she suggested, letting her hands fall when she noticed Jeri's upset expression.  
"Aren't you going to wear it?"

Trying to appear unaffected by the disappointment in the other girl's voice, she repeated the words from the day before. "Jeri, I don't _wear_ dresses!"

Jeri seemed to regain her composure, and she reached out and buttoned the dress up again. "Of _course_ you do!" she smiled again. Rika would undoubtedly have been snapping by now if it had been somebody else, but Jeri's smiles had always had a strange way of keeping Rika quiet. She didn't say anything as the girl took her by the shoulders and leading her back to her room.

"You look nice like that!" she insisted as the door closed behind them, "Don't you agree, Calumon?"

The white Digimon looked up from where he had been admiring the lions in her book, and smiled brightly at them. "Rika's dressing like a girl!" he giggled, and Jeri nodded vigorously.

"And isn't she pretty?"

"Yeah, she is!"

It was ridiculous, really, to feel embarrassed in the presence of Calumon, of all Digimon there were. Being innocent and carefree and a little less used to human customs than the other Digimon, he was the last being who would have cared about the dress as anything else than how her looks had changed.

"Great, so you and Calumon think I look pretty in this thing. Do you have any reasons beside that why I should wear it?"

"Do you need reasons for wearing nice clothes? You know, if this still is about your mother, I think you're being childish."

And hadn't it been, from the very start?

"The others will laugh at me." She said, crossing her arms and in an attempt to regain control while mentally beating herself up for the last sentence.  
"Don't be stupid. They know that you don't care about it." Jeri said, grabbing her wrist and handing her her card deck before starting to drag her out of the room.

"Stop it, Jeri! I'm serious, I'm not wearing this thing in public!"  
The angry outburst made the girl halt and turn around, the look on her face more serious than Rika could ever remember seeing it.  
"Why not?"  
And Rika found herself floundering helplessly somewhere between Jeri's wounded gaze and her own pride.  
"Because..."

She didn't know what to say, and the silence was becoming too long. She didn't have any answer to give Jeri, but only half of her was actually interested in sorting out that. The other part was much, much more noticeable and urgent, and was desperately trying to come up with a way to stop Jeri from looking at her the way she did now.  
"I think you look nice." Jeri said at last, her voice tiny. "And... I thought that you'd like looking nice, too." The unsaid words lingered between them.

And why not? Because she didn't want to be like all the other girls. She didn't want to be clingy and whiny and fuss about her clothes and her hair. She wanted to run without thinking about how her clothes would look if she would fall, and she wanted to show the world that she didn't have to be like that just because she was a girl.

But all those thoughts never even formed proper words in her mind, and her reply was nearly as cryptic as the answers she had given Jeri before. "I never cared."  
The other girl looked down, a slight blush staining her face.  
"_I_ do."

The silence was creeping up on them again, not helping Rika's feeling of utter helplessness. Even the usually cheerful Calumon was quiet, staring distressed at the two girls.

"I, um..." she stopped talking for a short moment, but when Jeri looked up, she licked her lips and spoke up again, "If it really means that much to you…" tearing her eyes away from Jeri's, she pulled a little at the skirt and picked up her card deck again, sliding it into the pocket on the right side that she noticed only now. "Are we going?"

Jeri beamed at her, for some reason looking happier than Rika ever could remember as she nodded. She picked up Calumon and placed him back on her head, before grabbing Rika's wrist and dragging the other girl with her as they ran out the door.

It wasn't as bad as she had thought it would be. The skirt of the dress wasn't long enough to get caught in anything, but it was wide enough to let her run as fast as she wanted – plus, it felt nice and airy in the spring breeze. And Jeri's hand, which at some point had slipped down from her wrist, was so wonderfully reassuring clasped in her own.

-------------

"What?"  
Takato startled, and his eyes moved up to meet hers.  
"Why are you wearing that?"  
Eyes narrowing, lips pursing slightly.  
"Because I wanted to." Still breathless from running all the way, and still wearing what was unmistakably a dress, she thought she did a pretty good job of being intimidating to the boys. "Do you have a problem with it?"  
Silent shakes of heads, and she sat down and pulled out her cards.  
"You know, seeing _you_ dressed like a girl makes me nervous."  
"You're not the only one, Terriermon."  
"If you think I can't kick your ass just because I'm not wearing pants, you're sadly mistaken."  
"Hey, I'm not _complaining_ or anything..." Ryo said, sitting down across of her and starting to flip out his cards.  
"And what makes you think that I'd possibly care about what you think?"  
He smirked at her. "Well, logic says that the reason you're dressed like that is because you're trying to impress someone."

She glared at him then, letting the reply wait while she started dealing out her cards.

"So what if I am wearing this dress for someone." She looked up and met Jeri's eyes, smiling at her. "But that sure as hell isn't any of you boys."


End file.
